Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dialog for a film

A cell phone walk and talk between Aubrey(A) and Hans(H)who is at home.

Aubrey is an extremely insecure, overtly attractive model type, Hans is a ill-kept, grungy looking guy with confidence that belies his average to below average looks.

Aubrey is walking in a chic urban environment, a billboard advertising tires by showing a near naked female is visible in the distance and she approaches it during the conversation, she is passing it as it is mentioned in the dialog.

Hans is surrounded by books, notebooks, Chinese food containers, and is playing a video game on an obscenely large TV during the entire conversation. Shots of the part of town Hans lives in show poverty in all its stereotypical forms, black kids in tank tops on bikes, some rough types drinking out of paper bags, an old lady pulling a grocery tote.

The window displays in Aubrey's part of the city show MP3 players, jewelry, cell phones, cars, other consumables. Videographic style is similar to "Natural Born Killers" cutting in and out of commercials, during the dialog, switching from the characters dialoging in color to the ads in black and white. The ads should be from different historical periods and parts of the world. Grace Jones modeling perfume in the 70's, James Bond selling Aston in the 50's, Winchester Rifle ad from the 1850's, cigarette ads from Africa, Russia, Asia skyline shots of Hong Kong, LA, these shots should comprise at least as much on screen time as the two characters.

The dialog continuing while products and advertising are shown. Some street fighting scenes from Iraq, Afghanistan and Viet Nam should be interspersed with the first person shooter game Hans is playing.

this montage should include rapid short clips from: The beach party scene from "Apocalypse Now", Budweiser ad, beef "it's what's for dinner" ad, milk ad, A.N. scene of cow being lifted by the helicopter, Zizek wildly gesticulating, Saddam and Rumsfeld shaking hands, massacre scenes from Indonesia, head shot from Viet Nam, Mai Lai massacre, standard Holocaust shots, Gitmo, service academy graduations, parades, rifle twirling scenes from "A Few Good Men", abuse of detainees in Abu Graib, Wilhelm Reich in jail, Robert Anton Wilson, Marx, Freud, Foucault, Jesus, 4 Jesus's from Clockwork Orange, final rape scene from same, shot from Zentropa TBD, Thomas Paine, Cindy Sheehan, Jefferson, churches, mosques, temples, kamikazes performing zen meditation before tale off, UFC cage fighting scenes, "Full Metal Jacket" training scenes, "Saving Private Ryan" D-Day scene, Iranian propaganda scene from "Obsession" with U.S. flag overlayed on U.S. soldiers terrorizing civilians, concentration camps in Yugoslavia, lots of U.S. planes bombing, mayhem destruction and death mixed with this banal dialog which could be happening any where in any western city.

H: “you know you are so much hotter than all those bitches”
A: “…I know, I mean, you really think”
“don’t even start in on yourself, I’ve heard them all, your nose is too thin, your cheek bones aren’t high enough, ass not round enough, you are going to fucking wear yourself out with this shit”
“don’t lecture me Hans…”\
“bitch, if you didn’t want a lecture you called the wrong person”
“I want a pep talk”
“fuck that, and fuck your insecurities, you know you’re hot shit, what are you looking at”


A: “what, I…”
H: “I can always tell when you’re looking at a billboard, what is it?”
“that fucking little cunt in the tire ad”
“oooh, I know where she is almost naked”
“fuck you! This isn’t helping”
“hey can I call you back I need to take care of something”
“Goddamit Hans”
“calm, calm sweety I’m just showing you how ridiculous you are being, do you really want a bunch of guys jerking off to your ads in their shitty apartments?”
“of course that’s what I want you fucking imbecile”
“damn you are in a state, you wanna meet somewhere and talk this over”
“I don’t know, I’m so irascible”
“don’t be stealing my big words, I need those to pick up bitches”
“fuck your bitches, none of them are as hot as me”
“now we are getting some where, go on”
“none of them have a body like me, my tits are perfect, my stomach is rock hard, legs forever, mouth….”
“that’s it, that’s what I’m saying”
“you better not be jerking off”
“don’t flatter yourself sister, I’m thinking of the tire ad”
“that bitch is too skinny and you know it”
“what do you want from the Europeans, those fucking savages wouldn’t know a great body if it was getting a Brazilian…..”
“Hans we are supposed to be talking about me”
“of course, of course, how foolish of me“, so do you want to go to a gallery or something?”
“Oh yay, just what I need, a bunch of ugly depressing art and the ugly, socially awkward wanna-be artists milling around looking pained and horrified by the plight of the common man”
“you are such a fascist whore…damn that’s kinda hot, do you have any Nazi stuff”
“I think I’m going to start fucking somebody with a shaved head”
“strong move, bitches always look hotter standing next to a bald guy, the last thing you need is another pretty boy douche bag boyfriend glomming on to you and stealing all the attention.”
“Ian was not a pretty boy”
“Ian, Jesus who said anything about Ian, his fucking British teeth made me go home and find my dental floss, I’m talking about the endless string of Abercrombie wanna-be fucknuts that you are always finding in sportsbars”
“no good?”
“look, your mission in life is to look hot at all times, you can’t be standing next to a guy who other girls and other guys are going to look at, some of those dudes are so pretty they make me start thinking about switching teams for a week”
“so I should date ugly guys? That is ..”
“Not ugly, just not pretty, there is an ocean in between, look, you find some aspiring writer-artist-filmmaker type that doesn’t look like a poster child for methadone and you clean him up a little, and start showing him around”
“hmm, a project, I could get behind that”
“make sure he is big, even if he’s fat, not disgusting of course, but you wanna look dainty next to him, skinny shriveled up artists are pathetic, you need something burly, shaved head works, not too friendly, someone who people might mistake for a body guard or a chauffer.”
“good, good, I know a couple guys”
“no one you’ve already banged”
“fresh meat, someone who is going to be wowed by your celebrity status, like a lap dog…only bigger, like an attack dog, but better looking”
“I feel better”
“that’s my girl, now get out and start hunting”
“are you gonna help me?
“that depends”
“you know I am a great wingman”
“the last time I went home with a chick when we were out together you wouldn’t talk to me for a month.”
“No, you didn’t answer your phone for a month because you …”
“OK, OK I remember, no need to rehash my life history, but if we go out together I am going to shamelessly pimp you out, I pick the guys, none of these lederhosen wearing fags”
“you know I don’t know what lederhosen are”
“stockings for men, you’ve never been to Europe”
“Milan not Austria or wherever the fuck men are wearing tights and suspenders “
“I give Milan the finger”
“Milan…hmm I wonder what it is about Milan…”
“there was no way I could have known…”
“that a six foot blonde might be a guy”
“actually that guy sucked great cock so I don’t know what I’m so bitter about”
“because he didn’t call you”
“Damn, you are a fascist whore”

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